Writing Archives

Feeling Depressed And Discouraged

Monday, October 31, 2016
philosophical musings, depressing, dark themes, writing
You sigh and it’s filled with so much despair and sadness.

What am I doing here, you wonder? Why am I still here, you keep asking yourself? Why do I keep doing this?

Why do I keep struggling when nothing seems to work, when nothing happens, when everything remains the same, when all my efforts are for naught, when everything is a failure?

You have so many questions, but no answers. It hurts so much and you can’t help but think about giving up. You just want this madness to end. You just want an end to this suffering. You just want to find the happiness and joy that you seek. You just want those who hurt you to pay for their sins and crimes. You just want retribution and revenge and redemption and vengeance.

But nothing is forthcoming. There is only darkness, despair, shadows and illusions looming in the background. You’re surrounded, you’re being suffocated. And all you want is to be free from all this. When will this madness end? When will you finally end it all? Someone, please help me, say something, you scream.

- Depressed girl pic is from Amazon.com

The Clash Between East And West

Friday, October 28, 2016
adventure, fantasy, superheroes series, writing, short story, anime, kaze no stigma
Also known as, "Will this madness, conflict, fight, and pain ever end?"

Previously, in this series, East and West have started to fight against each other. Well, the conflict isn’t over yet.

The fight between East and West goes on as they continued dancing and moving around the room of the Winter Palace. They said nothing, no words passed between them. Both seemed unwilling to make the situation worse than it already was. Both didn’t seem to want to say any more hurtful things to each other.

Pain was visible in each other’s eyes, but neither saw how the other looked as they focused their gazes on anywhere but at each other’s eyes. Eventually, the room was completely trashed. The walls were cracked, tables and other furniture torn and broken to pieces, all the debris and rocks and parts scattered all over the floor.

It was a real mess, almost as if the entire room had been bombed or as if a war had taken place there. In the middle of it all stood the 2 Superheroes, facing each other though still not looking into each other’s eyes. Only they were unharmed, unhurt, with not a single scratch marring their skins.

- This is part 49 of The Adventures Of The World’s Superheroes series, a story told in several short posts
- Part 48
- Image is a screenshot from the Kaze No Stigma anime series from Amazon.com
- Pic is meant to represent the fight between East and West

Where Did All The Time Go?

Tuesday, October 25, 2016
philosophical musings, time, sunrise, dawn, night
Time – it moves so fast, is it even possible to catch up to it? You want it to slow down, don’t you? It doesn’t care what you want though. It moves even faster (faster than the speed of light and the speed of sound) just to spite you.

And yet, when you want time to hurry and move and end and stop being so slow, it will crawl to a snail’s pace just to spite you.

Where did it all the time go? How did you manage to miss it? Can you believe that the day is over already? The day is ending and the night is starting. No, wait, even the night is ending already. A new day is about to dawn and you find yourself wondering, what happened? How could it end so quickly? Weren’t you planning to do a lot of things today? So much needed to be done and yet how come there’s never enough time to do what you need to do? Time is always running away from you. You keep chasing after it, wishing it would stop for just one moment.

- Sunset poster is from Amazon.com

Cold War Dance

Saturday, October 22, 2016
adventure, superheroes series, short story, fantasy, writing, sword art online, anime
Also known as, "We fight, but do you really want to hurt me?"

Previously, in this series, East and West were ready to fight against each other. There was a clash of power, a deadly dance between two of The World’s Superheroes.

It would have been interesting to watch, what with how gracefully they moved and glided and exchanged attacks as if it had been choreographed, but this wasn’t a game. It was reality.

East and West moved around the room, throwing punches and kicks at each other as they focused on attacking their opponent while defending themselves. Their movements were beautiful, precise, perfect, and yet the whole thing seemed like a farce of a fight.

They attacked, but no one got hurt, not physically anyway. It seemed that all the attacks they threw were all half-hearted. They didn’t put their full strength and power in their offensive moves. They didn’t even use their magical powers or weapons. They just stuck to using martial arts. It seemed they didn’t really want to hurt the other.

- This is part 48 of The Adventures Of The World’s Superheroes series, a story told in several short posts
- Part 47
- Image is a Sword Art Online poster from Amazon.com
- Pic is meant to represent East and West fighting with each other

Why Can’t Russia And America Just Be Friends, Try To Get Along Or Stop Fighting?

Wednesday, October 19, 2016
Alfred was still frowning and he still looked upset as he glanced down at the newspaper on the floor in front of him. He soon turned away from it to glance at Cyrus who had gone back to looking out the window.

The silence bothered him so he quickly broke it by saying, “I heard America was being mean to Russia too, you know?” They’d been talking about the rising tension between the two countries and how the 2 weren’t exactly getting along at the moment; it was like they were having a lover’s quarrel, really.

short story, dark, depressing themes, philosophical musings, america, russia, kingdom hearts, nintendo ds, axel, roxas
Cyrus raised an eyebrow at that. “What?” What in the world was Alfred talking about now?

He wished the latter would just drop the matter and stop worrying about things he couldn’t change or do anything about. It wasn't like he could stop the USA and Russia from trying to wage war on each other and the world or something.

“Well, I saw this map in Wikipedia. It showed the world map with the current members of NATO in one color and Russia in another color. It seemed like the USA and NATO were everywhere. It looked kind of unfair to me,” Alfred explained, frowning as he recalled the map in question.

Cyrus face-palmed; he wasn’t going to pretend he understood the way Alfred’s mind worked. Sometimes, Alfred could be really confusing, not to mention strange and odd. “Don’t use Wikipedia as a source,” he said instead.

Alfred refused to let the matter go though. “I heard that Russia was feeling threatened because it’s like NATO was encroaching on the country’s borders. That does make sense, doesn’t it, I mean for Russia to feel all threatened and stuff? Why can’t Russia and America just be friends? Why can’t everyone just be friends and try to get along and solve all these problems in a peaceful and diplomatic way?”

Now Cyrus knew Alfred was either quoting from somewhere or had recalled something he’d read or something because there was no way Alfred could have come up with these words all on his own. Really, since when did Alfred know words like ‘encroaching’? “I suppose it’s like with personal space then.” He shrugged, unconcerned and uncaring. Why should any of this matter to him? After all, this had nothing to do with him. Let them do whatever they wanted as long as they left him alone and didn’t bother him, Cyrus thought, scoffing.

short stories, dark, depressing themes, russia, america, philosophical musings
Alfred blinked. “Huh? What’cha mean? Do you mean that America likes Russia lots and wants to get close to the country, so America is expanding NATO?”

Cyrus face-palmed again; really what was Alfred going on about now? If he’d said it once, he’d said it a hundred times- sometimes, he really had no idea how Alfred’s mind worked. Strange didn’t begin to cover this. “Somehow, I highly doubt that,” he muttered. “I mean that if someone gets too close to you, would you like that? They-” he started to say before amending his words as he remembered that Alfred had absolutely no concept of personal space whatsoever.

He should know as the guy had way too many friends and had no problems being all friendly with people, smiling at them, clapping them on the back, giving the occasional friendly hug and even holding hands or grabbing people’s arms to drag them off somewhere (the last was most familiar to him; how many times had Alfred grabbed his hand or arm and insisted on dragging him off to some place or other?). “I don’t like anyone getting on my personal space,” he said instead, almost growling.

Alfred pondered this, frowning.

“Besides, think about it,” Cyrus said. “If Russia made alliances or tried to build military bases and the like near the USA’s borders or whatever it is they do-” Cyrus rolled his eyes; like he cared what they did. “Do you think America is going to like that? Don’t you think the USA will protest that?”

Alfred said nothing.

Cyrus growled. “This is ridiculous.” He stood up, approaching Alfred. “Look,” he said, attempting to change the subject (he’d already tried earlier and it didn’t exactly work, but what’s the harm in trying again, right?). “Weren’t you going on about some new ice cream store or something? Why don’t we go there now? It’s too hot here.” Well, don’t look at him like that. He does want some ice cream and besides, he was sick of dealing with a moping, sulking and upset Alfred; it was completely out of character for the normally cheerful guy.

Alfred’s eyes sparkled, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “Ice cream? I love ice cream.” He grinned. “And I want some now. Oh yeah, there was that new place, and, come on Cy, we gotta go now. Also, did you know that-” Alfred moved to grab Cyrus’ arm. As he dragged his friend off towards the ice cream store, he started talking about the new flavors of ice cream the place offered and the kinds they should try.

Cyrus pulled away from the grip, but walked alongside Alfred who was now gesturing wildly with his hands as he went on about something or other, smiling widely and eyes sparkling. Cyrus wasn’t really listening though he had a half-smile on his face. Finally, he’d gotten rid of that annoying frown.

Prequel: Why Russia And America Have To Involve The Entire World With Their Lover’s Quarrel?

- First image is a screenshot showing Axel and Roxas from the Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days Nintendo DS game from Amazon.com
- Pic is meant to represent Cyrus and Alfred who are close friends just like Axel and Roxas
- Image with added text was modified by Freya Yuki (CC:BY-SA) based on the image by Nikolas Becker (CC:BY-SA) from Wikimedia Commons
- Image features a map of the world to represent the countries and how they fight and ally with each other
- YouTube video shows the reset button that America gave to Russia; this just shows that the 2 countries are capable of being friends / can get along even if they may have differences as long as they just try
- Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Check the disclaimer linked in the footer section of this blog for more info

Is This The End Of The World?

Sunday, October 16, 2016
Also known as, "This fight is the calm prelude before the storm".

Previously, in this series, we’ve just established that the two Superheroes are hurt by each other’s words. How much more can they take? East is already saying that West should leave the Winter Palace, implying that the western Superhero is no longer welcome in East’s domain. What will happen now?

West seemed oblivious to East’s pain or wishes. “That’s all you can say ‘cause I’m totally right and you're totally wrong,” West taunts in response to East’s words in the previous post.

superheroes series, adventure, fantasy, story, writing, get backers, mido ban, anime, manga
“Leave before I do something that I regret,” East growls, unable to take it anymore.

A huge amount of power was emanating from the eastern Superhero, eyes flashing and blazing, fists clenched. East was already in a fighting stance, ready to attack at a moment’s notice.

“Gonna fight me, huh?” West says. Power was also emanating from the western Superhero as they got in a fighting stance.

There was only anger and fury now. Any hurt and pain they felt at the volley of words they hurled at each other was hidden away as they pretended they weren’t affected and they definitely couldn’t care less what the other had to say.

- This is part 47 of The Adventures Of The World’s Superheroes series, a story told in several short posts
- Part 46
- Image is a screenshot of Mido Ban from the Get Backers anime from Amazon.com
- Pic is meant to represent both East and West who are both so mad that power is emanating from their bodies

Why Russia And America Have To Involve The Entire World With Their Lover’s Quarrel?

Thursday, October 13, 2016
Alfred stared at the newspaper in his hands, eyes wide with horror and surprise. “Wah, this is really scary,” he exclaimed. “What’s going on with the world? Why is this happening?”

short story, fiction, dark, depressing themes, philosophical musings, russia, america, edward and alphonse elric, fullmetal alchemist, anime, manga, war, lover's quarrel
Cyrus, who was looking indifferent as usual, glanced over at Alfred and at the newspaper in the other’s hands. He noted what the headline proclaimed in very large font and rolled his eyes, exasperated.

With such a headline, you’d think the world was ending right at this very moment; what a way to instill panic into some people, he thought with annoyance. He glanced back out the window; the sight outside was certainly more interesting than the newspaper in Alfred’s hands.

“Someone needs to tell Russia and America that if they want to have a lover’s quarrel, they shouldn’t involve the entire world.” He snorted. He glanced at Alfred again who was frowning and looking rather upset. He rolled his eyes. “What’s up with you anyway? I thought you’d find this stuff interesting. Don’t you like fighting and wars? You’re always going on about cool moves and awesome fighting styles and the like,” Cyrus pointed out.

Alfred looked even more surprised at that, not to mention shocked and horrified. He dropped the newspaper onto the floor, shaking his head in denial. “What?! No, I don’t,” he said. “I mean, I only like that stuff in movies and games. Those can be fun and they’re not real, so it doesn’t matter. But it’s different if it’s really happening here in the real world.”

Cyrus sighed. “Well, at least you can actually distinguish between fantasy and reality,” he muttered, too quiet for Alfred to hear as the latter was still frowning down at the newspaper on the floor. In a much louder voice, Cyrus said, “Don’t get so worked up about this. It’s not like it’s happening right where we are. You’re far from where all the fighting and conflict is. It’s not like you’re going to die or something,” he pointed out.

short story, philosophical musings, fiction, dark, depressing themes, america, russia, war, lover's quarrel
Alfred didn’t really look reassured by those words though. “Oh, I wish Russia and America would just kiss and make up already. Can’t those 2 countries and their allies talk things over without resorting to war and violence and fighting?

"It’s not fair for everyone else in the world who just want to live in peace. Why do they have to involve everyone in this? What about all the people who don’t want to fight and who just want to live in peace? People should have a choice. People should be free to choose what they want. They should have freedom. And they shouldn’t have to deal with this if they don’t want to. Like, who wants to fight anyway?” he said, waving his hands around. His eyes were dull and the frown on his face didn’t look like it was going away anytime soon.

Cyrus sighed again. He was certain Alfred didn’t even realize he’d repeated some of his words. And, really, why was Alfred so idealistic? “I’m surprised you know what ‘resorting’ means,” he said in an attempt to change the subject or at least stop a certain idealistic someone from stressing and worrying over what was happening with the world.

Alfred pouted, still looking upset. “Cut it out, Cy. Don’t be mean.”

Cyrus merely rolled his eyes.

Sequel: Why can’t Russia and America just be friends, try to get along or stop fighting?

- First image is a poster of Edward and Alphonse Elric from the Fullmetal Alchemist anime from Amazon.com

- Pic is meant to represent the characters Alfred and Cyrus who are friends 
- Image with added text was modified by Freya Yuki (CC:BY-SA) based on the image by Nikolas Becker (CC:BY-SA) from Wikimedia Commons
- Image features a map of the world to represent the countries and how they fight and ally with each other
- YouTube video shows the reset button that America gave to Russia; this just shows that the 2 countries are capable of being friends / can get along even if they may have their differences as long as they just try and make an effort
- Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Check the disclaimer linked in the footer section of this blog for more info

What Hurts Much More Than Hearing These Horrible Words?

Monday, October 10, 2016
Previously, in this series, both East and West are emotionally hurt thanks to each other, though it could be argued that East feels more pain since West can’t seem to stop talking and saying such horrid things to the eastern Superhero.

superheroes series, adventure, fantasy, writing, story, edward elric, fullmetal alchemist, anime
“I think it’s time for you to leave,” East says, eyes full of pain at West’s horrible words. The purple eyes are closed to hide the pain, to will it away. It looks like East is trying hard not to be affected by West’s hurtful words.

No more words are said as East does not wish to say something that the Superhero will end up regretting.

But, really, much more than West’s unfounded accusations and trying to blame everything on East, the latter was more hurt by the fact that these words were coming from West.

Of all people to say these kinds of things, it was hard to believe that it had to be West. If it had been anyone else, East might have still been hurt, but not as much because, much more than the words that were uttered, what really affected and caused East pain was the one who was saying them.

- This is part 46 of The Adventures Of The World’s Superheroes series, a story told in several short posts
- Part 45
- Image is a wall print pic of Edward Elric from the Fullmetal Alchemist anime from Amazon.com
- Pic is meant to represent how sad and hurt East is thanks to West's hurtful, horrible words

Why You Should Not Lose Hope, Why There Is Always Light, And Why Change Is Always Possible?

Friday, October 07, 2016
The alternate title is ‘what is the color of hope and change?’

“Do you really think they can see it, how you struggle, how you exert so much effort, how you work so hard?” The man sighs, sounding tired and weary. “Oh, what a joke, a total riot,” he murmurs.

“What are you talking about, dear? What is the matter?” asks a woman who was sitting on the couch. Her gaze was focused on the scarf she was busy knitting.

The man briefly glances at her before returning his attention back to the window. “It’s that young man,” he says, pointing at someone outside their dull and dreary little house. “He always passes by here every single day. He’s so young and oblivious and naïve and innocent. Doesn’t know anything at all about how this world really works.” This was said in a sad tone of voice.

short story, philosophical musings, dark, depressing themes, hope, light, change
The woman frowns, but doesn’t look at wherever and whoever the man was pointing at. “Maybe it will be different for this young man,” she murmurs, a wistful tone in her voice.

The man laughs. “Do not be delusional, my dear. There’s no reason to hope. That young man is doomed. No matter what he does, no one sees anything. Those who do, do not care in the least.”

The woman bites her lip. “He sounds honest, good and kind.”

“Hah.” The man snorts. “Useless qualities. He should learn to throw them away. Quickly. Or he’ll drown, he’ll fall. You know as well as I do that honesty doesn’t exist in a place like this. The reality is that people are dishonest. They have no qualms in cheating and doing whatever it takes to get what they want. They think only of themselves.” He says this in a resigned tone of voice and he sounds even more tired and weary than he did before.

There’s silence for a moment. Finally, the woman stands up and takes the finished scarf in her hands. She walks towards the window until she stands right beside the man.

The man glances at her, waiting.

“I think,” she finally says. “I really think he’s different. That young man, he could be exactly what this place needs. He’s-”

“Do you even know who I’m talking about?”

“Yes. I’ve met him. I’ve spoken to him. I’ve looked in his eyes. Those eyes, it’s been a long, long time since I’ve looked into eyes like that. I didn’t think I’d ever see such a look again.” She sighs, looking haunted and distant. “His entire personality, his character- he’s a breath of fresh air. He’s hope. And those sparkling, pure eyes filled with honesty and sincerity- that’s the proof. He’ll change things.” She smiles, and, for one brief moment, there’s a spark of light in her eyes.

quote about hope, believing in the light at the end of the tunnel, that change is possible, don't give up
Do you sometimes feel like giving up and think that
there is no hope for change, that the light of the sun has
been swallowed by the darkness? Don't we all need
something to remind us that there is always
hope and light and that we shouldn’t give up?
The man looks at her and sighs. “And when will that happen? When it’s all over for us? Do you really think we’ll still be around to see this change that you hope for?”

The woman shrugs. “It matters not. What matters is-” She cuts herself off abruptly. Without another word, she starts to walk away.

The man frowns. “What the? Where are you going?”

“Out,” she answers without stopping. “That nice young man is back and I wish to give him a present.” She indicates the scarf in her hands and there’s a small, slight smile on her face.

The man stares. When the woman has left their house, he turns his gaze outside the window where he sees the young man and the woman talking as the latter proceeds to wrap the scarf around the young man’s neck.

“Yellow,” the man murmurs. “Like light, like the sun. Hope.” And he finally allows a small smile to tug at the corners of his mouth as he watches the young man talking animatedly and laughing and smiling and gesturing wildly with his hands.

- Image with added text was modified by Freya Yuki (CC:BY-SA) based on the image by hayashinomura (CC:BY-SA) from deviantArt
- Image is meant to symbolize the smile of the young man in the story
- Quote image is a print from Amazon.com
- YouTube video features the song entitled “Don’t Lose Hope” by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

Don’t Want To Regret Hurting You

Tuesday, October 04, 2016
superheroes series, adventure, fantasy, writing, story, anime, game, type-moon, saber lily, fate/grand order, fate/unlimited codes
Also known as, "There is no time or place for regret".

In the last episode of this series, East tells West to take back all the hurtful words that had been uttered by the western Superhero.

But West is defiant and refuses to do what East says. West wills away the hurt in those blue eyes as well as the remorse and regret at having to cause the eastern Superhero pain.

“What, affected?” West queries. “’Cause I’m right, right? I am so totally right and you know it,” the Superhero taunts. “You’re just causing trouble, lots and lots of trouble. I'm sure that South and North will agree with me and will side with me,” West declares confidently.

“That’s ‘cause you’re siding with the bad guys, the evil terrorists, and you don’t even care. Can’t you see how the Spades King is hurting so many people? Or is it that you just don’t care?” West questions. “Uff, you should be ashamed of yourself, East. You’re not fit to be a Superhero,” West proclaims.

Once the Superhero had started, it seemed there was no control over their mouth anymore. They just kept going on and on, unable or refusing to take back the hurtful words.

- This is part 45 of The Adventures Of The World’s Superheroes series, a story told in several short posts
- Part 44
- Image is Saber Lily from the Fate series by Type-Moon from Amazon.com
- Pic is meant to represent the hero/superhero that West is talking about

What Is The Reason Why We Keep Struggling To Live In This World?

Saturday, October 01, 2016
“Argh. I can’t take this anymore. Why does this have to happen? Why do we even bother if the outcome is always the same? We still fail and we still end up being disappointed.” The blond growls, crumpling the papers in his hand before throwing them against the wall. He lies on the floor, surrounded by papers and pens and books.

“Hey, it’s okay, ya know? Don’t worry, we’ll get through this,” the redhead says, smiling. He sits on the floor, nearby, leaning against a wall.

dark, depressing themes, short story, philosophical musings, sadness
The blond snorts. “You’re always so optimistic.”

“That’s because you’re too much of a pessimist. Someone has to balance you out.”

“I’m not a pessimist. I’m a realist. And you, you’re nothing but a dreamer, too idealistic.” The blond sighs. “I really don’t see why though. I mean, look at us, look at this. Come on, face the facts. Everything’s a mess. We lost. We failed. We’re nothing.”


“Honestly, look. Don’t be blind. Open your eyes. Stop dreaming and open your eyes to this nightmare that we’re living,” the blond practically growls. He’s angry though it’s clearly not directed at the redhead.

The redhead sighs, biting his lip, frowning somewhat. “What do you want me to say?” He screwed his eyes shut. “I- I don’t want to dwell on it,” he says, as if ignoring it and not talking about it will make their problems go away and will make everything better.

The blond grits his teeth, frustrated. “We have to do something. If we don’t-” He groans, dejected. “I seriously can’t take this anymore. Whoever said money can’t buy happiness clearly doesn’t know what he or she is talking about. That or they have more than enough to last them several lifetimes and then some.” He glares at the ceiling, eyes stinging.

“Ya know, I’d say that’s meant to be all philosophical and-” the redhead began to say before he was abruptly interrupted.

“Pfft, who needs philosophy, huh? What good does that do us? What we need is money. Come on, look at us. How are we supposed to live without it? How is anyone supposed to live without it? I could really use some,” the blond begins, but cuts himself off, screwing his eyes shut. He lifts up a hand to swipe at his eyes and his face. “It’s really hot, isn’t it?” he says in an odd tone of voice.

The redhead looks away, his hair falling across his face and hiding his eyes. “Yes,” he says in a small voice. He swipes at his face too. “Very much so.”

“You know, sometimes, I just can’t help but wonder why we’re doing this,” the blond says after a brief moment of silence.

The redhead looks surprised at that. “What? What do you mean?” He sounds rather panicked now as he says, “But I thought we both believed in this. I thought we’re trying our best and I know you keep saying that I’m too positive, but I really think that we can do this, that we-”

“That’s not what I meant. I believe in this too,” the blond stated with much conviction as he indicated the papers all over them. “But, sometimes, I just want to give up, and, well, what I really meant was, why do we struggle so much anyway? We do everything we can, but for what? What have we got to show for our efforts? Nothing, that’s what. And after so many times of trying and trying, you can’t help but wonder what all this is for. In the end, will any of this even matter? After all, everything ends anyway, right, so what’s the point?”

There was no response as the redhead merely looked sad and thoughtful because, really, what was there to say to that?

- Image with added text was modified by Freya Yuki (CC:BY-SA) based on the image by CoDLia (CC:BY-SA) from deviantArt
- The red-haired melancholy, depressed and sad-looking figure in the image is meant to represent the redhead character in the short story
- YouTube video features a song entitled “Hold On” by Good Charlotte